I have to admire your tenacity and effort. You daily brave against a current so strong it would knock a grown man off his feet. Your acting skills are also on point. I would put your talent up to any of the top-paid Hollywood stars. The sheer joy you get from defying the boundaries set for you is a level of happiness few will ever achieve.
But why dear son won’t you sleep? Naps are one of the most glorious marvels of humankind. Any adult would kill (hypothetically of course) for a few winks in the mid-afternoon. Your only “job” as a toddler is to play to your heart’s content, devour everything in sight while simultaneously complaining about it, and to crash mid-day before you transform into the Tasmanian devil.
Dear son, I would gladly give up these never-ending battles and let you stay up if you didn’t transform into a hurricane creating havoc for yourself and others.
Yes, I have to stifle laughter when you run out of your bed with a look of satisfaction. I can see you beaming with pride at your cleverness and it quite honestly can be hysterical, but it is also not. It is as annoying AF (Did I use that right?). I love you but wow. I am hungry, I need a shower and yet you want me to watch you fall into slumber for hours on end in which you may never actually give in. Cue mommy pulling out hair. I am resisting the urge of my inner Samuel L. Jackson in his infamous retelling of that magical children’s tale.
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Some day you will want to sleep until noon. You will insist that you need it. And to that I will remind you it all could have been avoided if you would just have napped as a toddler.
Please, son, go to sleep.
Your tired, stinky Momma