Guest Post Feature: Super Sirrious Mom

Guest Post Feature:

Super Sirrious Mom

I am extremely excited to have my extremely hilarious friend make the first guest post on Coffee With a Side Of. Sirri is a mother of two and writes disturbingly real stories of motherhood. She doesn’t sugar-coat anything. But her honesty in parenting is so relatable, and it is obvious that she is an awesome wife and mother. Some of my favorite posts she has written include The Top Four Necessities Every Stay at Home Mom Needs and How to Give Mom the Perfect Mother’s Day.

Don’t forget to sign up to get her free Summer Scavenger Hunt Printable for your toddlers. She also has a new eBook coming out soon titled “Confessions of a Tired Stay at Home Mom”. Be sure to sign up here so you know when it becomes available!

Caution: Do not read any of her writing if you have new mascara or need to pee. Disaster will ensue. Enjoy!

What NOT To Do When You Are Pregnant

The Day I Shat Myself While Pregnant

I was about 25 weeks pregnant when one of the most embarrassing things EVER happened to me.  I was on a road trip with my mom and my son who was one at the time. We were out of town to soak up some sun and visit family. After a few days, we finally decided to head back home. We stuck with tradition and ate at our favorite restaurant. My mom and I consider ourselves to be chicken wing connoisseurs. The spicier the wing, the better.  If it doesn’t make your throat bleed then we are not interested.

That was mistake number one.

We ate our delicious chicken wings and decided to gas up and start our three-hour journey home. As usual we always gas up at the very last gas station on the way out-of-town, which was about a 30 minute drive from the restaurant. We hopped in the car and headed out.

That was mistake number two.

Only a few minutes into our drive, I began to feel the burn. My stomach started to gurgle and growl so loud the people in the car next to us heard. Oh man, I had to poo. I had this problem in my second pregnancy where I could hardly hold my bladder or bowels. I’m guessing it was from pushing out baby #1 who 9+ lbs. and then baby #2 was on track to be that big as well. (Yes, I know. Please hold your applause until the end of the story.)

Mistake number three was thinking I could hold it until we got to the gas station.

I started driving faster, like a bat out of hell. Sweat was covering my entire body. I was clenching like I’ve never clenched before. My poor butt cheeks were so sore from squeezing as tight as they could. Finally we arrive at the gas station. I waddled as fast as I could into the bathroom, squeezing my butt cheeks together all the way. I made it inside and felt myself starting to slip. Then the worst thing that could possibly happen did. There was a line. Tears started to run down my face.  I couldn’t hold it anymore. My body betrayed me and it happened.

I shat myself.

I didn’t let myself show it, I just let it happen. And happen it did. Thank God no one noticed. Finally, it was my turn. I walked backwards into the stall so no one could see my butt. (Because that wasn’t obvious.) I pull down my pants and it’s a mess, a huge freaking mess. I seriously just shat my pants.

In an attempt to hide the awful noises, I kept flushing as the devil squeezed his ugly way out of my poor bottom. I took my poo-filled pants and chonies off and started to try and clean myself up.

Thank the good Lord that I am obsessed and ALWAYS have my phone on me. I text my mom what happened and asked her to bring me a clean pair of pants and a bag, and to try to be discrete. She finally responded after what seemed like an eternity.  I kept cleaning myself up and pushing out the devil juice.

By that time there was an employee in the bathroom cleaning. She had cleaned everything else, and I could tell by watching her feet she was waiting on me. After a few minutes, she says, “are you ok in there?” I responded, “yes, sorry.” So extremely mortified I started to cry. MOM WHERE ARE YOU??

Finally mom arrives and delivers the goods. I know she wanted to make fun of me, but could tell that in my emotionally unstable pregnant state that wouldn’t be a good idea. I bag up my poopie pants, clean up my mess, and leave.

So here’s my advice. Don’t eat spicy food when you are pregnant and about to go on a road trip. That probably should have been a no brainer, but chicken wings ruled my pregnant life. I was so mortified, and I can’t believe I am sharing this story. I hope there is someone else out there who has had something just as horrifying happen to them.

Tell me your pregnancy horror stories!

Thank you for reading! Please subscribe to Super Sirrious Mom!

Author Bio

My name is Sirri. I am a wife, mother, and self-proclaimed coffee addict. I am the writer behind supersirriousmom.com. I like to touch on all of the subjects that no one actually talks about. I won’t teach you how to become a better mother, but I will help you laugh while you are elbow deep in mustard yellow baby poop, thinking you are about to lose your mind. I like to offer free shiz so subscribe here if you want in on that action.

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7 Comments on "Guest Post Feature: Super Sirrious Mom"

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Sirri
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Thank you for the love and thank you for featuring me!

Kimberly
Guest

I shat myself.. I just laughed so loud.. after 3 babies, I’ve been there!

HonestK
Guest

Pahahahahahaha! The title! Brutal!! 😂😂 straight to the point 😂😂 loved it!

Melissa
Guest

But what would life be without spicy chicken wings and living on the edg?! We wouldn’t have fabulously funny tales, just like this one, and life would just be boring LOL. You handled things like a champ! Thanks for the story and the laugh. 🙂

Stuart Brazell
Guest

Oh my goodness my husband is so ready to start a family and this just made me so scared LOL

Thena
Guest

Hilarious! I love this!!! What a great read on my Saturday morning!

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