Life With a Toddler: 6 Reasons Why My House Has Never Been Cleaner

 

Life with a toddler: 6 Reasons why my house has never been cleaner

  1. You get to play “what is this?” game.

Seriously, what is this on the floor?

What is this on the couch? The broom, steam mop and vacuum come out of hiding. Make sure to clean unknown foreign crap off of every surface in your home, and it is only Monday. I am sure we will meet again tomorrow for another titillating game of “name that $&@”!”

  1. Toddler gear is basically decor at this point.

You no longer look at toys and toddler stuff everywhere as a problem. Just move all the adult books and trinkets off the shelves to make way for cars, Legos, and an assortment of marvels meant to temporarily distract your turbulent two-year old.

  1. You have a helper.

My son has been so, umm, helpful. “I big helper Mommy”. He helps me unload dirty dishes into the drawers. Note: the glasses were an easy fix, the dirty and clean silverware meant that everything now gets a thorough cleaning.

      4. Laundry

Spit up, poop, puke and more! How many shirts and pants can a single child go through in one day? Ugh. I have to change my clothes now too. Thanks for the culinary artistic expression on my pants. My shirt too?! Sigh.

      5. Bonus round of what is this $&”@ outside?

Extra points if it brought inside. Double extra points if it is some kind of poop. Human or animal, you are not surprised. Calmly, get a bag, clean it up and proceed to disinfect the small germ-producing offspring with the heartiest organic soap available. Only the most expensive cleanser for your little germ factory.

     6. Realize that your child has licked every surface of the house and has the plague; aka the forever poops.

Proceed to again disinfect with oils and organic stuff. Sneak out the Lysol wipes, but don’t tell anyone because those are not crunchy and might as well cause cancer. Use them anyway, because you keep catching said plague and think you are going to die.

Like I said, my house was never cleaner.


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13 Comments on "Life With a Toddler: 6 Reasons Why My House Has Never Been Cleaner"

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Sirr8
Guest

Love it!!

Diana Villa
Guest

I totally understand you! As a mom is so difficult for me to keep up with everything, glad that my husband always helps 😀

Jan
Guest

Hahaha I love your sense of humor!

Christina
Guest

Haha, too funny! I love your humorous tone… you have to keep a positive attitude when dealing with that all day I’m sure!

Tricia
Guest

I totally agree with the toddler gear as decor! My living room decor at this point can best be described as “Toddler Chic.” Okay, maybe not chic. Just “Toddler.”

Liz
Guest

So funny! I have a 17 month old and I know exactly how you feel!

jhilmil
Guest

Ha ha indeed funny & relatable to me as well. I have 2.5year old kid, yes things have improved some now but still “What is” game is too rampant;)

Akyn
Guest

I can totally relate to this post. I kept all those decors in our living room especially those that are fragile. My toddler loves moving things from one place to another. If anyone will visit my house, they can really tell that I have an active TODDLER

R.M.
Guest

Hahahah I’m ROFL!!!! Love your humor to lighten life 🙂 I remember the days of laundry “helpers” !!! 😉

Melody Rosa
Guest

This is cute a great tip for my best friend
http://sheismelrose.net/

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